We’ve all seen them. The bridezillas of the world. Whether watching them on the latest reality show or encountering them in a bridal boutique, with their demanding and unrelenting ways, they are hard to miss. Here are three attitudes that will discourage others from wanting to participate in the big day:
1. “It’s my day!”
In all truthfulness, the big day is one that should be important to both you and the groom. This day is also one that perhaps your mother has dreamt about for some time or your dad has envisioned sharing that special moment with you during the father-daughter dance at the reception. I have been in many a bridal consultation and witnessed, a bride so unrelenting and unreasonable in her demands that those around her cower and tiptoe to keep her happy. This really takes the enjoyment out of planning and results in the groom steering clear of any involvement; which in turn exacerbates the bride who feels that she is doing all of the work. Your wedding day should be the day when both sets of parents are proud to present you to the world as the new Mr. and Mrs. such-and-such. Don’t spoil this moment for them by being a selfish princess!
2. “This is a once-in-a-lifetime event”
There will be other days, you will discover that are just as (if not more) important than your wedding day. College graduation, the birth of your firstborn, a dream vacation, retirement: these are all special days in your life. Many brides use this phrase as an excuse to recklessly abandon all common sense. For example, does it really make sense to spend $11,000 on a wedding gown when your annual income is only $24,000? This money could be better spent as a down payment on a house or a chance to pay down debt to make the marriage transition smooth. Yet I have seen this happen time and time again. Brides today have so many options, and choosing a simpler wedding can help you reach your financial goals, rather than be a hindrance to them. Remember there is life after the wedding, and you don’t want it to be a stressful one.
3.
“It’s the end of the world, if this doesn’t happen the way I want it to!”
Actually it is not the end of the world. Life will go on as usual. Be flexible enough that if something doesn’t go according to plan, you can adapt without causing undue stress to yourself and others. For example, if your two year old niece fails to drop any of the petals you meticulously color-coordinated down the aisle, but instead bolts to the front of the church the minute she sees her mother-it’s okay. Regardless of what happens, the guests will think she is adorable anyway, and you can concentrate on making a stunning entrance with your walk down the aisle.
Your wedding day should be a day that you, your man, and your family anticipate with excitement, rather than exhale a huge sigh of relief when it is finally over. Learn to compromise, doing so will make others want to make you happy as well. While there will be other special days, focus on making this day a memorable one for everybody without giving in to reckless spending in order to make it unforgettable. And remember that if things don’t go quite as planned, you and everybody else can still have an amazing time. And that’s really all that matters.